I cannot believe that my mom has turned 60, so I spent a few hours the day before conjuring up a light-hearted speech, inspired by Russell Peters to a certain extent in terms of delivery. While it had my family and younger relatives laughing, some of the older crowd were not amused by a portion of the speech, but you think I cared? Haha!
My speech after a photo of me and my mom.
“First of all I would like to thank all of you for attending my mom’s 60th birthday. I can’t believe she’s 60 already as she doesn’t look her age at all – she looks like she’s stuck in her early 40s. I remember both mom and I were shopping somewhere to buy some stuff and after I made my selection, the salesman then asked me, “What about your wife?”. I looked at my mom and told him, “She’s my mother”.
My mom was smiling and then gave me a lecture on my baldness, “See, I told you it’s because of you shaving your head it makes you look old.” But mom, firstly, if I had a set of hair, I wouldn’t have got an attractive wife (in Mel), and secondly, have you seen your side of the family? All the men are naturally balding, and so am I! The difference is, I’m accepting it by simply speeding up the process.
Another thing people always tell me, “You look just like your mom”, and that’s definitely a compliment, because, have you seen my father’s side of the family? They’re so dark that their shadows get confused. My mom always tells me that my dad’s mother didn’t like her. “Mom, could it be because you’re not dark enough for them?” I’m guessing my dad’s mom called my dad, “Son, come here.”, whacks him on the head and said, “All the members of our family are dark, why did you have to ruin everything?”
“You see now what you have done, your children will be milk chocolate Gomez’s.”
Lastly, on behalf of my younger brother, we apologize for calling you “Meh” for a good couple of years when we were growing up. I’ve no idea how we evolved from mommy to “Meh”. “Mehhhhhhhhhhhhh”. My mom probably was thinking, “Oh no, I have given birth to 2 goats”. Luckily we have managed to change it to “Ma”.
To end this speech, I would like to raise a toast to my mother, and to say Happy 60th Birthday mom, and I look forward in 10 years’ time, to celebrate your “60th” birthday again. Happy Birthday!”
I gave an emotional speech 10 years ago when my mom turned 50, and had us both in tears, so I thought I try things differently this time.