Lately, I have become more attentive to my emotional reaction in situations. Instead of justifying them as I usually do previously, I’m learning to break them down, analyze them and to understand why I reacted the way I did. There’s always a crux of the matter when you dig deeper.
I must say that it’s been helping me a lot with my self-rebuilding process as I’m finding out who I really am as an individual. I usually brush aside feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment and hurt and start the day anew as I believe why should we dwell in the past when we can look towards the future?
However, I may have been looking at it the wrong way ever since I first believed in “forgetting the past and looking forward”. When you try to forget the past and put it behind you without understanding the heart of the matter, it’ll come back to haunt you down the line. It’s inevitable.
That’s why I’m taking a new approach with my feelings and by breaking it down, talking to someone, not trying to put the blame or argue who’s wrong or right, I learn. It feels great to be in tune with my feelings for the very first time in my life. Still very much a learning process but hey you have to start somewhere right?
Maybe this could be the catalyst where I finally can learn to let go some of the past wrongs, and instead of looking towards the other party to point blame, I analyze my reactions instead to further understand myself.
All the hurt, resentment, anger, sadness, disappointment, dejection, pain that we go through in life – break it down until you find the heart of the matter.
You’ll evolve. And so will I.